I am so sad that I have been "away" from my blog for so very long... It always brought me great joy to sit into the wee hours writing about all my loves....my passion....my life...(sigh)  but.. I am better....I am back....   call me....  ;)    Winter was tough, after my surgery, I was doing what my oncology doctor said... I was laying low... I was healing... Well...I thought I was healing....  Valentine's Day is special here. I go all out.. I make a huge meal for my loves, including cheescake stuffed, chocolate dipped strawberries...  I went grocery shopping that day.. Huge smile on my face..It was a wonderful day.  I cooked all day in preparation for our family dinner...  At some point I felt too good..and did too much.....  (I know...it's hard to believe.....)   My 5 inch long incision (where they had removed that nasty, deep Melanoma Tumor)  ripped open... And my husband in changing my dressing that night, discovered it...  I will spare you the details cause well they ain't pretty...  I went in to see my oncology surgeon and she said, " I am sorry...you will have to heal like that...."   I had to be packed twice a day for months as I slowly but surely healed...  By the beginning of May, I was finally healed... My initial surgery was in January....  I am told I can have plastic surgery...  I am all set with that, more surgery does not appeal to me..  And my scar is in a sense a reminder to me of "what could have been"....  It certainly makes me pay more attention to myself... Something I really never did before.. I plan to share my scar through my photography, as getting the word out about Melanoma is beyond important to me..  The Melanoma I had was an agressive kind...a fast moving kind....that likes to migrate quickly to your organs, lymph nodes, breasts and brain...  To say I  am lucky, is an understatement..  I wake up every morning and go to bed saying a big thanks that I am still able to see the sun rise and set....that I am still able to see the beautiful faces of the two amazing little beings that God has blessed me with...that I can still sneak into their rooms in the late late hours and stare at their tiny faces....just to hear them say "Momma" sends me to my happy place.... that I can still feel the warmth of my husbands embrace...and see his smile..  that I can still laugh and be silly with my girls and cry with them at times, as well...  and that I can still create....  and that I am... still.......   I am beyond blessed.... AND... I am ready to create!!   Love and Blessings to you all...  I plan on doing a huge update to my blog...stay tuned...  <3    ~Stacy

My Sweet Boy.....how I love this face...

So...I asked my little guy to sit for some Valentine photos and he said "No".....   I said "pretty please..."   and he said "No"...... I said "I'll give you 5 dollars...".....He said..." Okay!!!!"   hehehe   His face says it all.. and makes me giggle every time I look at it!  LOVE...LOVE.....LOVE...that boy!   and ..he made me swear I would not put his pictures on "the internets".... (sigh)   ooops... I HAD to!  I love you, my sweet little boy! xoxoxoxo  ~Mumma

Hello from my recovery couch...... :)

So...after writing my last entry...My dermatologist called me...late....after hours.. I knew what he was going to tell me was not going to be wonderful news... I braced for what was to follow. I mean it was a few days before Christmas.. I was certain he did not call all his patients to wish them "Happy Holidays"....  I listened to his explanation of what was going on with my "freckle"... Lovely things that cover 95% of my body...the very things I had tried to remove with lemon juice as a preteen...  Sadly, I must report, it does not work..  And.. until recently I had grown rather fond of them... until this call...   (sigh)   Apparently, the Melanoma I have, is a nasty little bugger... very invasive and loves to travel to other areas of the body rather quickly... Invasive as he stated... Something to be very concerned about he stated in his next breath...  He recommended a FULL removal of the "tumor area"..and a biopsy of some lymph nodes... I shuddered at it being called that... the technical terms are not as lovely as..."naughty freckle"...  :)   Anyway... He was referring me to an Oncology Surgeon at Maine Med. and I would be seeing her immediately... I saw her 3 days after Christmas...  she set me at ease... "You will be okay...I promise..."   Big words to say...but...I believed her..   The surgery date was set for January 19th...  We arrived at Maine Med.  at 7am on a snowy, messy day... lovely ride to the Hospital I must say...  Anywho..  I had a Neuroscan first off... WOW.... just WOW!   Four needles which hold radioactive dye are shot under your skin..and by the way "This may burn a little".....  I mean it moves cells around and such to locate the nodes... so, I braced for the burning..."a little"...  WHOA....it felt like my back was on fire..  and did I mention each needle is done individually.... YIKES!   I white knuckled my way through that lovely 10 minutes.... and finally could breath... I was then taken to prep for surgery..  Did I mention I am a "freak of nature"...?   You will understand soon... I have no veins... and what I do have like to play this game of called "watch what I can do...."  ...where essentially as soon as a needle is put into one of my lovely little veins.. it collapses...poof...gone!!   SO... getting and IV into my crazy veins is "almost" impossible... With my daughter I had about 6 IV's that kept drying up and well the last attempt was put in by the life flight crew.... with my son... it took 2 1/2 hours of pure happiness to get a line started ...  you can see where I am going with this...  :)   We get in the room.. and the nurse, a very pleasant, happy lady, arrives to start an IV....  1st attempt....floods and cannot get in...apparently, I have alot of scar tissue from past attempts.. IMAGINE IT!!  2nd attempt....collapses....  fun times..... 3rd attempt....much the same......(I pray to myself that the 4th attempt.....sticks)    4th attempt..."I am going to numb the area... I feel like I need to go deep to get this to stay..."  numbing the area....does not ...NUMB the area...LOL    but... after some deep digging she gets it to stay...(I will later notice on returning from surgery...my IV is now in the other hand...CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??....hehehe  )   AS I stated it was not the nurse's fault...but...my freakish body's fault....   I am given some "happy juice" and wheeled to surgery... I remember climbing from the bed to the OR table and then..........I woke up in recovery... 2 1/2 hours later...   The tumor area was removed and rather deep..about a 4-5 inch incision....it is located on my back..and I also have an incision below my underarm area where the lymph node was removed...  I am wheeled from recovery to a semi-private room with a curtain...  This is at 11:30....  I will now mention my second freakish ability... I bleed... and I do not stop...and it has been an issue,  pretty much my entire life.. I have had Doctors attribute this ability to the fact that I have red hair... not sure if this is fact or fiction... but..  it is what I have been told...  I stayed in that room until 4:30...should have been able to leave after 2 hours....had I stopped bleeding I could have..  (sigh)   ANYWAY... I did finally slow down .... stopped bleeding through my shirts yesterday... WOOHOOOO!!!!   :)   TMI  ...I know....  So... back to my story...  I came home and had wonderful people taking care of me... laid around bored outta my mind.....watched hours and hours of HGTV...BUT.. I have so many NEW ideas for Hubby to accomplish....(insert evil laugh here..)    and then as my DR. promised I received a call late Monday with the results of my Lymph node Biopsy.....................................................................................................IT WAS CLEAN!!!!   WOOHOOOO!!!   NO CANCEROUS CELLS FOUND!!!...........................................................
I have been smiling since (well...except for the stabbing, annoying pain in my back...)   I have been smiling a lot more!!     I will still have the 6 month check-ups with my Dermatologist and I also plan to schedule a Mammogram to clear my mind totally... but... there are sunny days ahead ..   for sure!!!   Blessings to all who have held my hand during this heart-wrenching journey...  I am forever grateful for the amazing husband, children, family and dear friends that have been here for me, as I have needed you all... My love to you all....  ~Stacy

Blessed be these days....

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed this Holiday Season...  last week my days were filled with trepidation, tears and questions..   I had a biopsy (took 3 weeks to get results) and it was diagnosed as Melanoma.   Of course, my lack of knowledge on this subject led me to search the internet for answers...  ANYONE who has any sort of illness or diagnosis should NOT search the internet for answers....EVER!!   Every single time they write Melanoma, it is followed by..."The deadliest of the skin cancers..."   Nice, huh??  Just what you want to hear when you have... NO ANSWERS!    Finally, an appointment was made with a dermatologist..YES!...I would have answers and not burst into random tears any longer when I look at my children...(sigh)   I slept sporadically the night prior to the appointment... and was a bag of nerves during the drive there...  I waited in the exam room...ever so attractive johnny as my attire....sat staring at the posters depicting my diagnosis...  Nice thoughts...happy thoughts.....butterflies....puppy dogs.....Oh..man.. THAT looks horrible!!!   ughhhh!      In walks the dermatologist.. Pleasant man, with a smile on his face...  Easing into the appointment a wee bit... Not so bad...   He looks at the biopsy area....scans ALOT of my freckles....and I mean ALOT...makes some notes....  makes small talk...  Thank goodness, because my aforementioned attire is not really very comfortable.... I must say my choice in undergarments makes me giggle to myself...  I wonder if the Doctor finds the "Call me" all over them as hilarious as I do!   I was not aware that todays exam would be so personal....hehehe   Oh well... humor is good...    He excuses himself.. (probably to giggle in the hallway.... :)    Again, left to look at the posters....  (sigh)       He returns....  It seems the Melanoma is only localized to the biopsy area.....  OH HAPPY DAY!!!   I just about jumped up and danced on the table...Amazing, happy, joyous news!!!   I will need another biopsy to remove more of the area...  but.. I can certainly deal with that...  visits to check every six months... to be sure...  I can deal with that...   I will have a mammogram to be sure there are no issues in that area...  I can deal with that.....    I am so overwhelmed with happiness this Christmas...  the season started with sadness... extreme sadness..  Anytime you hear the "C " word... WOW!!  Stops you right in your tracks and puts a whole new perspective on all of it..        We really need to take each day for the gift it really is...  We are so very lucky to have THIS day...   This Holiday... I will not hold back... All of my loved ones will know just how much love I hold for them...    I will sit with tears of joy as I watch my husband and children opening their presents...  I will hold each of them a little bit longer and thank my lucky stars to be having that little bit longer to hold them..  this truly is a blessed Holiday Season....  blessed beyond words..    Thank you, to all of you who have supported me during this very difficult time... You all have a very special place in my heart...  I carry you with me wherever I go...     May you hear the love this Christmas and always...   Blessings from our family to yours... 

Young Family...

Through our children, I have gotten to know this family over the years...I was so excited when I got the chance to work with them..  I can honestly say...I am pretty funny...(hehe)  Those who know me will agree..I do like to make people laugh...I am an entertainer through and through...but..Miss Kelsey (the little blond) gave me a run for my money on this day...SHE is so stinkin' funny and had me giggling the ENTIRE time.. Had a great time with you all!!  Hope you love your peek!  :) Stacy

Pineau Family....

I have had the joy of photographing this family since Miss Allie was 3 months old... and look at her now... She has grown so quickly...(puts a tear in my eye)  I hope you love your peek, Steph..  Thank you, for letting me watch your little ones grow over the years...I look forward to our time every year... Blessings, Stacy

Makenzie Paige.....

I have been missing in action when it comes to this blog...  Just have been so very busy with family and my work that I have not had a moment to update...So...I have decided to go backwards...  :)  This is my most recent shoot...Oh my goodness...what a sweet little face that is...(Daddy's not to shabby either..)  :)   I have known this family for years...they are pretty special to me...  and so are these photographs!  I love you, Rantas...  Blessings to you and your sweet lil' shugah...she is just perfect!   xoxoStacy