Every year near their birthdays, my children are very aware of what is going to happen...yes.... my lovey....there will be a crazy, red-head and she WILL want to get amazing photos of you...AND.. well... quite honestly...YOU WILL LIKE IT!!! :) All kidding aside... this birthday came and left me with a heavy heart..my daughter... the 1st heart I heard beating with my own.. the first little nudge I felt as a miracle grew inside me... the 1st little face I saw on July 12th, 2000... (sigh) she....is.........10.....years ...old! I still do not want to believe it.. I am in shock... I want a rewind button!!!!...(insert tantrum throwing here..) I mean seriously...WHY...if Staples can sell an "easy" button.. WHY do they NOT have a "rewind" one!! Not too much to ask is it???!!! I know.. I am being irrational.. It has just been a difficult Summer.. letting her become "double digits" (sigh) I picked her up the other day.. (hurt myself...another story...) lol but.. I picked her up and plopped her on my lap...and hugged the stuffin' outta her! It was amazing... and she loved every second of it.. I thought her 10 year old self would get all righteous on me and not have any of it... but it was amazing.. and yes, Mumma got all teary eyed.... (sigh) That night we went out.. just the 2 of us for her "10 year old Birthday photos.." we had "ideas".... I have soooo many more to get through...but...this is a peek into our evening... I even made up a stellar song to get her to laugh... OH....it... worked!! I am trying not to get all emotional as I write this.. trying to keep it light and funny..but I miss things...moments...when she was little and had the sweetest, tiniest voice... and she would snuggle in my lap for days at a time.. and whisper "I you, mumma...I you" (her way of saying I love you)..I can still hear that sweet little voice and smell her sweet little self... I swear I can... I hope that stays with me for the rest of my days... and that she and I will always have our cuddletime... even when she is 10+20.... I love you, my sweet, sassy, dramatic,lovey, bossy, creative ...little girl.... to the moon and back again and again and again.... I carry your heart with me... I carry it in my heart...xoxoxo ~Mumma
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